tell me, is He there?

Shoot.
I was just talking to one of my good buddies, and he tells me he's atheist. Then he says he doesn't want that to change my opinion about him. It doesn't in some ways, because he's awesome and a good guy. I'll always love him, no matter what he thinks and does. But then I don't see how he can see the world and not believe in God. Everything bears record of Him, and even if I didn't want to, I'd have to acknowledge that He is there. But that's the beauty of it, by learning of Him and loving Him, everything becomes better. The Good Lord leads us to the life we wish we all had.
I just hope my friend will see the fault in his ways, and come back into the fold.

a plethora of idioms

When you're trying to explain how you feel, sometimes it's best to use a few idioms, because they make it easier to let it out. I guess i'll try to let out how i feel about my best friend right now.
Some relationships can't change too much; there's just no room to swing a cat. Basically my problem is I have a problem of wearing my heart on my sleeve, but i need to hold my horses or i'll queer the pitch.
So basically, i need to stop sitting on the fence. Cause my friend and i, we like each other, but neither of us are ready for a relationship. So we have this plan to let sleeping dogs lie. and only time will tell what'll happen between us, and i'll make no bones about that plan. It's a good plan, and i know i need to stick to it.
But, off the record, I really love her, and every time i see her, my knee jerk reaction is to go hug her and hold her close to me. But i know that if i lose control like that, i'll turn into a loose cannon, hurting both of us. And i wouldn't hurt this girl come hell or high water. To keep from doing that, i guess i need to keep my chin up and stay the course.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, she told me she felt like giving up but knew she couldn't. And at the moment, I had been feeling stronger than an ox, so i offered to be her pillar, and that she could rely on me. Now it's getting harder, but I know i can do it! It might actually get easier after a while. Only time will tell.

UPDATE

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

to be continued

When i think of those words, "to be continued," they generally upset me. Usually "to be continued" is at the end of a tv episode, and you'll have to wait a whole week before knowing what'll happen next! even worse, the words are implied at the end of a novel, and you must wait years for the sequel to come out.
but from now on, when i think about "to be continued," it will be a phrase of joy. I think about my life, and my episodes with my friends and family, and when we have to leave each other, i'll remember that it is "to be continued." at times like graduation, this saying will bring me peace. when i know i'll probably never see some of my friends ever again... in this life, i'll remember that all friendships, all joy, every touching moment will be continued.

soledad

I was recently reading a novel that brought one of my biggest fears to light. I know it sounds so lame, but my biggest fear is losing my mind. No joke. I feel like I could make it through any trial in life or die in the most gruesome way possible, but if I lose my "soledad" (yes joan, i did use spanish, and if you don't get the meaning, listen to this song) i don't know what i'd do if i lost that sanctuary. It's my home, my place of rest, my entire being.

al admirar la distancia de los cielos me da esperanza
que mis anhelos se cumpliran
y aun que sea por un momento
no me escapa el sentimento
que este lugar me da
y por un dia mas
puedo dejar todo atras en mi soledad

And that is how i feel.

KABLOOSH!

Kabloosh is a very fun sound to hear. You hear it when popping balloons or jumping in water, and usually it's one of the best sounds ever. But when you're driving and hear "kabloosh," it can be slightly upsetting. If you're wondering, the car might have made that noise when I was driving it. I immediately started talking to the hunking truck.

"I didn't mean those things I said about you, I promise! Why can't we just work things out? Please don't do this to me. I'll change your motor oil! I know how you like that."
But the big old ford held a grudge, and before i knew it I was pulled over on the side of the road with a blown out tire. My cell phone wasn't working, so i started to run the 4 or so miles home, and the truck still hates me. I think i might blow it up someday.
KABLOOSH! That'll serve it right. Ha.

life?

When I decided to write this blog, a friend told me to write about life. But it's such a wide subject, I don't know where to start.
My life started at a very young age, and I've lived my share since then. I've loved and lost a few women, I've been a winner and a loser. The popular and the despised. I've traveled from coast to coast, looked down from the lofty peaks of the rockes, and looked up at the grand towers of New York City. Now I'm living life on a small scale, just following my feet where they lead me, and praying to find myself on this journey ... life.
Is this what she had in mind when I was supposed to talk about life? If that's not living, I'm not sure what is.