Another day another Destiny
Tomorrow you'll be worlds away,
and yet with you my world has started
I was born to be with you,
and i swear i will be True
One more day before the storm
at the barricades of freedom!
How can I live when we are parted?
Tomorrow we'll discover
what our God in Heaven has in store!
One more dawn.
One more day.
One day more.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Speak
I guess I was in a bad mood yesterday. Today I'm understanding that things have changed. We're both different now, and that's okay. I keep wanting to have things be... something. Not like they were. Not like they are. Just civil. But I need to relax. I keep wanting things to be better, but life is good. I can't get everything I want, and besides, life could be worse.
I'm finally Realizing why I've been so upset. I want to feel free of any guilt. I want her to feel happy. But if any action I take makes her more upset, then isn't it a bad thing to try to help? I'm not sure what to do, but I think that I'm ready to try to forget. I don't need forgiveness for doing what I've done in this relationship--it would be nice, but I'm learning that I can survive without things being like they were. I pray for her that she might be happy.
:'(
isn't it?
I'm finally Realizing why I've been so upset. I want to feel free of any guilt. I want her to feel happy. But if any action I take makes her more upset, then isn't it a bad thing to try to help? I'm not sure what to do, but I think that I'm ready to try to forget. I don't need forgiveness for doing what I've done in this relationship--it would be nice, but I'm learning that I can survive without things being like they were. I pray for her that she might be happy.
Well I sat down next to a photographI guess I'll try not to speak. When everything I do hurts her, the best move is to let her try to be happy on her own, isn't it?
Tried my best almost made her laugh
She was my toughest crowd
Well I sat down next to a living hell
Tried my best until I struck out
And it's not me
Not my sanctity
These aren't my words to you
It's all clear when it's not from here
So clear
So I'll try not to speak
:'(
isn't it?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
In my khaki pants
every time i look at her and what she does, it makes me hurt. i think i've done everything i can to make things better between us, and she is still angry and trying to find a way to forget about it.
this whole year i've been wanting to do something happy with her, but i can't do anything. then finally, we talked after i apologized to her and begged for her to be my friend again. that night was great, and i felt so happy. and i didn't think there'd be a problem with me being busy and working all of the time, but now laura won't talk to me. i say two words, and she has to go. every time. gah!
and i talked to colin today. he treated me like a jerk for not writing every week, and he told me i was complaining like usual about everything. then i was telling becca about it, and ks thought i was yelling at her, and blew up. i wish that people wouldn't get offended for what i do. i don't want to have people hating me. i didn't ever set out to hurt anyone, and i'm doing my best to fix whatever i've done wrong.
on a good note, Jenna is amazing. We went to Sadies last night, and it was really a blast. The Desert Star Theatre was a lot of fun, and we went to Temple Square :D. The Temple Square trip was really great, cause it was spur of the moment, and we met Elder Atchley there (Jenna's missionary that just got transferred. I call him Elder Panic! at the Disco). Then we went up to the roof of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and just sat and looked at temple square for a while. :D It made me so happy, and Jenna was just like "I could sit here forever."
trolley square is a creepy place. It was just like a complete downer, and I wasn't surprised that there was a shooting there a year ago. You know how they have horror movies set in like dark hallways and creepy carnivals? It was like that. And there was just a lot of creepy garbage there. I felt dirty after we left.
I love being outrageous and talking to strangers. Like we were at the gateway and asked to take a picture with some lady's dog. It totally made her day, and she was all excited, and told about how his name was Timothy. :D Happy random strangers are always good. I love meeting random people on the street who are just... cheerful. It gives me hope.
this whole year i've been wanting to do something happy with her, but i can't do anything. then finally, we talked after i apologized to her and begged for her to be my friend again. that night was great, and i felt so happy. and i didn't think there'd be a problem with me being busy and working all of the time, but now laura won't talk to me. i say two words, and she has to go. every time. gah!
and i talked to colin today. he treated me like a jerk for not writing every week, and he told me i was complaining like usual about everything. then i was telling becca about it, and ks thought i was yelling at her, and blew up. i wish that people wouldn't get offended for what i do. i don't want to have people hating me. i didn't ever set out to hurt anyone, and i'm doing my best to fix whatever i've done wrong.
on a good note, Jenna is amazing. We went to Sadies last night, and it was really a blast. The Desert Star Theatre was a lot of fun, and we went to Temple Square :D. The Temple Square trip was really great, cause it was spur of the moment, and we met Elder Atchley there (Jenna's missionary that just got transferred. I call him Elder Panic! at the Disco). Then we went up to the roof of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and just sat and looked at temple square for a while. :D It made me so happy, and Jenna was just like "I could sit here forever."
trolley square is a creepy place. It was just like a complete downer, and I wasn't surprised that there was a shooting there a year ago. You know how they have horror movies set in like dark hallways and creepy carnivals? It was like that. And there was just a lot of creepy garbage there. I felt dirty after we left.
I love being outrageous and talking to strangers. Like we were at the gateway and asked to take a picture with some lady's dog. It totally made her day, and she was all excited, and told about how his name was Timothy. :D Happy random strangers are always good. I love meeting random people on the street who are just... cheerful. It gives me hope.
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