be my escape

God, would you please rip my heart out and beat me with it? It would definitely be a relief from the pain I feel right now. I thought that talking to her would make things but instead it made things much, much worse. Now she's gone, and I think I've lost her for forever. I know He tells us to surround ourselves with friends that have our ideals and standards, but He also tells us to forgive our neighbors their trespasses.

The harder I push, the farther I fall. And I'm begging you to be my escape.